My initiation story

Chitra
4 min readAug 23, 2023

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The Divine Energy

Sri Hari (at Shri Badrika Ashram)

August 23, 2023

It has always been easy for me to connect with Sri Devi Om ji, whom I lovingly call by various names, but here, let me address her as Shri Maa. And yes, I received deeksha or initiation from her, which also bestowed upon me a choice to either accept or reject my spiritual name, Chitra Om (I received this name on July 2023). As you have already understood, of course I accepted it but no, Shri Maa isn’t my guru-figure.

It’s a thing of the past when people used to write on os.me. Various people came up with various stories, ranging from funny fiction to gut-wrenching life stories, and I was a part of os.me as well. I absolutely adored it. It was at os.me where I first connected with Sri Maa. She used to share her spiritual experiences and wisdom of Sanatan-Dharma there, and surprisingly, in the beginning, I was jealous of her! I was wrapped in the ego of whatever little sadhana I had done or knowledge I had gained, and well, it all came gushing out when I started reading her articles on os.me. I was clearly nowhere near her level of spiritual merit, and my fragile ego was hurt.

I know very well that jealousy isn’t a massive factor in me, and hence, I was utterly ashamed of myself. I started off on some corrective measure to kick this negative emotion out of my system. So, instead of indulging in trash-talking about anyone, I asked myself, “Why am I feeling jealous?” Thinking deeply, I realized that Shri Maa is showing me what I wanted. Her spiritual experiences and her stories resonated with what I wished for. I didn’t want a mere tag of a ‘devotee’ with myself instead I wanted to climb up the stairs of spirituality, embrace the very essence of Sanatan-Dharma, and grow like the sages of the land of Bharat have!

I decided that I would not remain a stupid, jealous person. So, I proceeded to write comments on her articles. Goodness gracious, she replied with such tender love that, after a few exchanges, my heart was brimming with love and respect for her! Midst all this, I didn’t consider her an out-of-reach guru-type lady; instead, she was a beautiful soul whose well-being mattered to me. That’s it. Over time, I realised that she really isn’t a normal sadhika but someone who has reached her own truth.

Many people tried to dissuade me from talking with her for reasons known only to them. Rumours, second-hand news, and made-up-stories came flying to me, creating questions and suspicion in my mind, but my heart said something else. In the end, it was my call to either listen to the news flying around that created huge confusion in me or to listen to my heart, which till now has guided me quite well. Thanks to my heart, which had love stronger than everything else going around which gave me the courage to follow what it said and not what the unrealized, ignorant mouths had said.

I had beautiful spiritual experiences even before I was initiated. It is best for me to have a no-human-guru approach, which allows me to inculcate teachings and methods from various sources. I consider Shri Maa as my spiritual mentor, but my guru is the Divine energy itself! And hence, like always, in the matter of spirituality, I follow my own heart. I do what I wish to do and nobody can force me for anything albeit I take Shri Maa as my lovely spiritual mentor who never forces me to do anything either.

Sri Maa understood me, loved me, and it melted me. And the plan of Mother Universe was such that I received deeksha, or initiation, from her without even asking for it! Shri Maa has never asked me to bow down and touch her feet. Neither has she asked me to keep her in some lofty ideal nor has she asked for any money from me. I see her as my mother, friend, sister and confidant who guides me in my spiritual journey for which I am deeply thankful to her.

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Dear Sanatani soldiers, that was my initiation story. Now, let’s all walk towards the Divine like the lions of Maa Durga!

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Edit- Maybe the Universe wanted something else and now Sri Maa has opened initiation system in Sri Vidya. SDR now follows a proper guru-shishya parampara and I received deeksha/initiation from the best person on Earth- my Sri Maa, on May 2, 2024, evening.

Om tat sat!

Joy Maa!

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