The Night Before Deepavali, Negative Energy and Grace flowing
October 31, 2024 (Today is Deepavali night!)
Om tat sat!
My humble pranaam to the feet of Sri Devi Maa!
Before I begin my tale, I will like to wish you a very Happy Deepavali!
A few days back, I was singing the line “Bhairav, Hanumat tere aage chale…” on loop. (Lord Bhairav and Lord Hanuman walk ahead of you, indicating Mother Divine is very secretive) and day before yesterday, my mom asked me to buy some sweet-meats for a few relatives. I went to the market, purchased some for them and my eye fell on the beautifully placed chandrakala, a sweet I like among many. Somehow, a thought came that I should offer it to the Divine the next day. So, I got one piece of it packed, along with other sweet-meats and I came back home.
It was a busy day yesterday (30 Oct, 2024). I couldn’t sleep well, I felt irritated, I cleaned the house, had to travel to meet the relatives and also cook food. It was too much, and I became aware of anger simmering in me. At evening, I sat in front of Maa Lalita’s picture and started some meditation where I tried to feel my anger fully and offer it to Her. I tried to imagine Maa Kali taking her form but I was distracted and some work came up, I left my place.
On a WhatsApp group, I was informed that it’s a good day to worship Maa Kali. I was tired, irritated and I sat in a room to remember Her but my mind drifted towards Maa Sarasvati. I tried to go against the tide and remember Mahakali but all in vain and finally, I gave in.
Abhishek, a spiritual brother, told me that it was Lord Hanuman’s birthday at 12 midnight. I ignored his text. Though I have always considered Lord Hanuman as my brother, I somehow decided to ignore this year’s Hanuman Jayanti yesterday. I was tired but Maa Sarasvati’s form and Her remembrance made me feel light like a cloud. Like a sweet child, I dozed off soon after.
At around 3:05 a.m. (31 Oct) I opened my eyes after having a weird dream. I saw that I stay in a rent room located in a messy street. Its noisy, the street is unhygienic, the room is also stacked up with trash and scraps. There is a roommate, a transgender. She was like a friend but suddenly she looked outside to make sure nobody was watching and started touching my body. I didn’t enjoy it, I didn’t like her flirt, I just stood there without any reaction. It neither felt good nor did it bother me and soon this person left and I woke up with eyes wide open. I wasn’t feeling disturbed and was amazed that I didn’t react like I normally do. “What was that?” I thought. I dismissed it and went back to sleep.
Then, I saw another dream. I saw that I went downstairs from our flat and there I spotted two people cooking on a table. I was curious and went near the two and out of nowhere a lady appeared who was managing those two cooks. She had South Indian facial features and she wore a blue sari with golden border and had golden ear rings hanging from her ear lobes. She said- Hanuman ji’s bhog is being prepared, it will be good if people eat prasaad that is tasted by Lord Hanuman!’
I woke up wide once more. I told about the dream to my mom. She smiled but didn’t share the excitement that I was having. An uncle who dropped in at our home a day before, he agreed to prepare bhog tahiri for my Bro Hanumana with some begun-bhaja and gobhi-bhaja. I offered a pateesa sweet too and sang the happy Birthday song for Him and Hanuman Chalisa as well.
Abhishek told me later on text- Regarding the dream of transgender, looks like it wasn’t a good dream to see. Some negative energy was trying to come to you but now, you are strong. By the way, Lord Hanuman truly blessed you!
Thats how my Hanuman Jayanti went! My brother Hanumana lovongly looked at the plate offered to him and my Devi made me emotional once more! How happy She seems when Her child is fed food! My million obeisance at Her holy feet, whose mere glance is enough for one to wash off all karma! My pranaam! My pranaam! My pranaam!
My lovely Guru, thank you, Maa! I am here because of you! Narayani Namostute! My most loving pranaam at your holy feet! Jai Maa!
With Love,
Chitra Om.
